Chapter 3 : The Appointment

“Goodness, has anyone ever told you you have a heart murmur?”

 

I arrived and sat at the doctor’s surgery feeling quite bemused and a little uncertain. Last week I had competed in the most intense environment I had ever been in and now I was sat here, feeling good but anxious. I told myself it was nothing and it was a good idea to have come so that the doctor could clear it from my mind.

I was called through for my appointment; I didn’t have a regular doctor as I did my best to avoid those places and I had always been fit and healthy.  She was in her mid to late forties with dark brown hair parted in the middle cut to shoulder length and wearing a black suit which drew together her hair and brown eyes behind large circular glasses.

She gestured that I should sit down on the chair next to her desk and said, “so how can I help?”.

I filled her in on what had happened over the last few months and why I was here, going into detail about the training and how I had been feeling; the exhaustion and those odd moments which had lead to being sat talking with her.

“Oh right” she said and asked me to lift up my shirt as she got out her stethoscope, placing it on my chest.  Within a split second she jolted back in her chair and her eyes broadened. She recomposed herself and focused intently.

“Goodness, has anyone ever told you you have a heart murmur?”

“No!” came my reply in a sharp, shocked laughable tone.

“Oh” she said, and I noticed a look of shock, terror and sympathy all hidden behind her professional appearance.

“OK, well what we’ll do is send you off to have some tests to see what’s happening. Give you an MOT as it were”.

I sat there in silence for a moment. It felt like I was being sucked into a void,  someone had turned the lights down and the room closed in on me.  Had I just been punched in the face during a sparring session?  I quickly came to and wearily said “Ohh K”.

“The nurse will send out a referral letter with an appointment for a follow up” she said whilst smiling at me as if to offer some reassurance. This smile was clearly hiding something.

There wasn’t really any more to discuss and I didn’t know what to say.  So I got up, thanked her for her time and left.  I was in and out in under ten minutes and it felt like the world was spinning.  Not knowing what to make of it all I walked home in a complete daze.

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